Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
