you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
