he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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