you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
