The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
