Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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