my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They took my balls.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
