Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
