woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
