i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
