Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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