I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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