He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
