Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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