My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
