there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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