is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
