Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
