i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
