I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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