How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
