I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
