Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
