Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
