She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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