she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
