so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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