why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
