YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
do nipples grow back?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
