i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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