I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
