Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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