hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Operation Purity has been aborted
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Randomize
