No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
