maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I AM VODKA MAN
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
