i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
