You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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