Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
there is puke in my bra ... again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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