I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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