dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm like, not good at living.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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