where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
