Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
