i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
pop tarts are not kleenex
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
