i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We're too hungover to prance.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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