i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
