another moral hangover. fuck.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
