Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The uberlube is also flammable
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
