I'm going to jail i love you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
