dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
