i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
